Murder on the Italian Express

Busy few days!

For our last day in Milan, hubby went back to the trade show and the toddler and I headed back downtown on the tram. Through one of the tourist magazines I found in our hotel room, I discovered it’s possible to take an elevator up to the roof of the Duomo for some interesting bird’s-eye views of the city.

Il Duomo

 

The tickets to go up cost a very reasonable 8 euros, and the experience was pretty awesome. You take the elevator up to the back corner of the roof and wind your way among the spires and gargoyles, up and down stairs around to the front. Eventually, you emerge into a flat space in front of the very tallest spire where you can simply breathe and take it all in. I can’t even describe how magnificent it is to commune with all that gorgeous architecture up close and personal. Just put it on your agenda if you’re ever in Milan.

on top of the Duomo!

The last supper in Milan Tuesday night was our farewell visit to Il Pavone. My meal was a delightfully light and pillowy gnocchi with a rich gorgonzola cream sauce and a few toasted walnuts scattered around the plate for good measure.

Il Pavone gnocchi con gorgonzola

I think hubby had a pizza diavolo, but I was too focused on my own food to care much. The three of us split what seemed to be the Italian equivalent of a crème brulee for dessert and bid the beautiful Maria a fond arrividerci.

the lovely Maria

Because I hate to fly so much, we had determined to take an overnight sleeper train to Paris Bercy, departing Milan around 11:30 p.m. Packed up and ready to go, we grabbed a taxi to Milano Centrale train station and waited for our ride. I thought it might actually be, dare I say it, a fun adventure. Silly, silly me.

I had a sinking feeling when I bought the tickets the day before that this trip may not go quite as planned. I couldn’t get my point across to the guy behind the counter, but he gave me reservations for beds for two adults, so I knew we’d have some sort of place to rest our weary heads at the very least. Or so I thought…

I’m not sure exactly what I was expecting, but having taken very nicely appointed trains elsewhere around Europe, I figured this journey would be fairly similar. Ho ho ho.

The train pulled in and we waited to embark among a large, milling crowd. It looked old and rather run down from the exterior, not at all like the nicer ICE trains I’d ridden before. I grew more nervous with every passing minute.

Finally it was time to board. The narrow passage proved a tight squeeze for all our baggage plus car seat plus stroller plus baby, so hubby lugged it all in piece by piece while I kept watch over the little guy outside. Every time hubby reappeared to grab another item, the looks he gave me grew more and more ominous. I quickly began to realize that this decision was going to be a mistake of colossal proportions.

The toddler and I climbed aboard. Fortunately, our beds were in the very first group of berths, so we didn’t have to go far. Unfortunately, the space was so tight, our largest bag wouldn’t fit into the “room.” We had to leave it in the hallway, and we were warned by the train staff not to leave it unattended. The hallway itself was narrow as well; people literally had to climb over the suitcase if they wanted to get by us.

Tickets are available in various classes — first class for a private section of berths, and peon classes where you may or may not find yourself sleeping with people you don’t know. Which do you think I’d managed to procure? Yep. You guessed it.

Our room, if you will, consisted of six bunks packed in like a sardine can, three on each side with well-worn, not-so-clean upholstery. When we came in, some fellow travelers were already there, two 40-something Asian ladies claiming the middle bunks. Our reservation denoted that we were to occupy the top two. Not exactly smart when there’s a two-year-old in the mix. The women were kind enough to trade us beds and immediately made themselves comfortable in the top bunks. Oh, did I mention the entire car REEKED of mothballs? I found myself mouthbreathing so I wouldn’t gag.

Everyone got settled in and we started to roll. Keep in mind, it was well after midnight by now. The toddler, who so graciously fell asleep in the taxi and stayed asleep right up until we boarded the train was now completely alert and ready to party like a rock star. The Asianettes hunkered down to sleep, yet the toddler was singing round after round of “Wheels on the Bus” and “Old MacDonald” at the top of his lungs. There was no hope of getting him to lie down without an all-out screaming tantrum; we just had to wait him out.

We eventually took the toddler out into the hallway so our companions could get some rest and hubby took a seat on top of our lonely suitcase. The looks he was giving me went from ominous to murderous. The vocal stylings continued as the toddler then launched into an enthusiastic rendition of “Itsy Bitsy Spider” followed by “Farmer in the Dell,” the Wonder Pets theme, “ABCs” and whatever else came into his little brilliant mind. At least the Asianettes didn’t mind, hubby poked his head in to get something and found them snoring like buzzsaws.

Hoping to wear the little guy down, hubby took him for a walk to find the dining car. Service was closed for the night, but at least it was empty and gave the little dude room to run around and play without disturbing anybody. I stayed behind to keep watch over the bag and tried to read. An hour later, they came back, hubby looking utterly defeated and pissed off. The toddler was still singing, and now skipping. Knowing I had some penance coming my way, I jumped up and took my lumps. The toddler and I headed back to the dining car again, weaving our way through six or seven other carriages full of quiet berths. I looked longingly at the private “suites” as we passed and mentally punished myself for not being able to convey that’s what I was after when I bought the tickets. Dammit.

After another hour or so of full-on hyperactivity, I managed to get the toddler to sit on my lap long enough to relax. Not sleep, mind you, but wind down enough to the point that when I asked him if he wanted to go lie down with daddy, I actually got a “yes.” Back we went, me trying to carry the toddler and not fall off the train in between cars, when I realized that I had no idea what number our carriage was. I figured we’d see hubby still sitting on the bag in the hall, but he was nowhere to be found. Uh oh. I’d come to the last car of the train and just stood there, holding a weary toddler and wondering what I was going to do. I didn’t even have my phone to send a text; I’d left it in my purse back on my bed, wherever that was. Just as I was contemplating lying down in the middle of the dirty hallway and praying someone would find us in the morning, the interior curtains in the compartment parted right where I was standing and hubby motioned us inside. By some stroke of sheer luck, we were standing exactly where we needed to be.

Hubby had managed to wrestle the remaining suitcase into the middle of the floor in our room and squeezed himself into one of the middle bunks. The toddler went right to him without complaint when I handed him over and settled down to sleep. I climbed into the other bunk across. Thank GOD no other passengers showed up to the claim the two remaining beds on the bottom, I can’t imagine how two more people could have possibly fit into that room.

I closed my eyes and hoped for the best, trying not to touch anything that wasn’t absolutely necessary and praying I still had a small bottle of hand sanitizer in my purse. The motion of the train was quite lulling, really. The jet-plane decibel snoring emanating from the bunk above me was not. I could not believe the noise this woman was putting out. Seriously, I was convinced at one point she was doing it on purpose. There is no way she could make that kind of a racket without waking herself up or choking to death in the process. I checked my watch. 3:45 a.m. Sigh. I closed my eyes and could literally feel the waves of resentment coming off my non-sleeping husband a few feet away. At least the toddler was depleted enough to get a solid stretch of shut-eye.

The Asian Rip Van Winkle finally woke up around 7:30 a.m., and she and her buddy started jabbering away in a language I didn’t recognize. The train conductor came by to check our tickets again. We knew we were running late, but when hubby asked him how much longer and he said another three hours, my jaw hit the floor. We were originally due in to Paris Bercy station at 8 a.m., leaving us plenty of time to take a cab to the rental apartment, drop our bags and shower before heading to the airport to collect my mother-in-law, who we’d arranged to fly in and stay with us for the weekend. As it was now, we’d be pushing to get there by the time her flight landed at 1:30 p.m. By that time, I was so exhausted, I did manage to fall into a somewhat fitful sleep for an hour or two. Really, there was nothing else to do.

At long last, we pulled into Paris around 11 a.m. I was never so glad to arrive anywhere in my entire life. Hubby told me not to speak to him unless I absolutely had to, which I respected, knowing I was totally in the wrong for this comedy of errors. I’d apologized a handful of times and didn’t know what more I could do or say to make things right, silently pledging to drug myself stupid next time and agree to get on whatever airplane might be available. I asked hubby if  he thought we’d look back on this experience someday and laugh. He said no.

Anxiously keeping an eye on the clock, we cursed some more when we saw the line for taxis extending halfway down the sidewalk outside the station. (And I wonder where the toddler recently picked up “Shit!”) Somehow by the grace of God, we eventually got a cab and made it to the rental apartment to meet the lady from the service who let us in. Hubby dashed off on his own to the airport, arriving with about 30 minutes to spare to meet my mother-in-law’s plane. Whew.

The two-bedroom Marais-situated apartment we’re renting is lovely, small but charming, up four flights of narrow winding stairs that are guaranteed to give me buns of steel after a few days. After a much-needed shower, the toddler and I ventured out for a bite of lunch at the first decent café we came across. Quiche Lorraine, salad, orange juice and a café crème fit the bill quite nicely. We managed a quick trip to the supermarket for a few essentials, then back to l’appartemente to meet up with hubby and MIL.

After a short rest, we all took a stroll around our old stomping grounds near the apartment where we stayed two years ago, stopping in for dinner at Cafe Rempart. Hubby had a traditional French croque monsieur – a devilishly rich open-faced toasted sandwich of ham and cheese with béchamel sauce. MIL enjoyed pomme frites, salad and a delicious-looking burger (which she ate in spite of the cheese. She hates cheese. This does not bode well for her enjoyment of French cuisine, I fear.) I was still somewhat full from my late-lunch quiche, so I went for a lighter dish of entrée Salade Rempart, composed of greens, carrots, tomato, fried potatoes (!), thin slices of proscuitto-ish country ham and cheese toasts. The whole thing was topped very lightly with French salad dressing, which is not at all like the unnaturally orange Kraft stuff you find back home. Here, it’s a light tangy Dijon mustard vinaigrette.

This morning, we headed to another café and partook of coffee served in clever small bowls (LOVE this, I want to find some of these to take home), and stuffed ourselves with all manner of bread and pastries.

the perfect petit dejeuner

 

Gotta love the French… A great way to fortify ourselves for a boat ride on the Seine, a visit to the Eiffel Tower and a walk through Notre Dame. A bientot!

 

Amy, the anti-fashionista

I am a fish out of water in Milan. The fashion industry is alive and well here, but unfortunately, it’s mostly wasted on the likes of me. Sure, I recognize all the big names – Prada, Gucci, Dolce and Gabbana, Versace – but I’m scared to death about going into these stores and making a complete fool out of myself. I am missing the shopping-for-sport gene that most women are born with, and I can’t justify spending hundreds of dollars on a pair of shoes or a purse. I have zero ability when it comes to dressing myself in a creative or stylish manner. As a stay-at-home-mom, my wardrobe is pretty limited. You can usually find me in a pair of jeans and a long-sleeved t-shirt or mock turtleneck on any given day. I’ll throw on a dress or pair of boots for a special night out, but those events are pretty few and far between these days.

And it’s not just the women of Milan, but European women in general. Of all ages. These ladies are made up so nicely and dressed so well, it’s intimidating! Not all are drop-dead beautiful, but they are certainly what you’d call attractive, at the very least. As my husband says, they really learn to work with what they’ve got and maximize the hell out of it.

I have managed to pick up a few minor fashion tips here and there during my previous visits to Europe. For starters, do not wear tennis shoes/trainers under any circumstances. Even if you’re going to be walking and doing a lot of sightseeing. You’ll immediately single yourself out as a tourist. It’s currently 45 degrees outside and has been raining all weekend, yet the women of Milan are out and about in stilettos and all manner of gorgeous leather boots like it ain’t no thang.

Point number two. Wear a scarf, and don’t just wrap it around your neck; tie it creatively. I swear, European women know how to tie more knots than a sailor. You hardly see two scarves tied the same way, yet all look jaunty and fresh and oh-so-stylish. If you can pull it off, wear a hat as well.

There are some fashions I’ve seen here and in Germany that I’m hoping WON’T cross the pond. For instance, the resurgence of (dare I say it) legwarmers. No. Just, no.

The past day in Milan has been kinda miserable. Hubby thinks I’m complaining nonstop. I am really trying hard to be positive and make the most of our time here, because after all, when am I next likely to be in Milan again? However, it’s proven difficult so far. The weather has been piss-poor – rainy and cold all weekend, effectively curtailing any plans for extended outdoor time. The toddler and I did manage to zip out for a little while yesterday between showers to explore the area around our hotel, but there’s just not a lot here. A few pizzerias, a McDonalds, a couple shops. Not exactly a hopping ‘hood. The toddler is enjoying watching the trams and cable cars go by, though. He nearly jumps out of his skin squealing with delight every time one goes by.

Hubby rejoined us last night after some on-site work for his trade show. He still wasn’t feeling well, so although we’d considered taking the tram into the city for a look around, we decided keeping outings to a bare minimum was probably the wiser way to go. We cruised back to the supermarket for baby food and milk, and found ourselves in the midst of even more mayhem than during our previous visit earlier in the day.

The saving grace of being here in Italy is, of course, the food. Dinner was a repeat performance at Il Pavone. Which was not a bad thing at all. We arrived just as they were opening at 6 p.m. and the lovely Maria took excellent care of us again. I ordered the delicious gnocchi with gorgonzola sauce and toasted walnuts, and it tasted every bit as good as it had looked the night before. A plate of grilled zucchini, eggplant and radicchio rounded out my meal, and I washed it all down with the house white wine (dry and slightly bubbly, almost champagne-like, but milder in flavor). Hubby got a pizza and seemed very content with his choice. The toddler soundly refused to eat the Italian baby food meal I’d purchased for him at the grocery and loaded up once again on breadsticks. He did take a few bites of my gnocchi, but wasn’t nearly as impressed with it as I was.

I was starting to go a little stir crazy by that point, so hubby offered to head back to the room with the toddler and let me take the tram into town for some solo time. The tram stop is right outside the hotel, but that’s about the only convenient aspect about it. I boarded with no problem and tried to pay close attention to the stops so I’d know when to hop up and get off. Well, the tram was super crowded, the windows were steamed up and I could hardly see out to get my bearings. Plus, some of the stops were announced and some weren’t. In short, I completely flubbed the trip.

We went through the a busy downtown area and at each stop, I assumed the next announcement would be the Duomo, where I was planning to disembark. It never came, and before I knew it, we’d gone through the city center and were somewhere on the other side heading into another residential district. Hm. I tried to text hubby to see if he could help me figure out where I was, but despite his best efforts, he couldn’t help. I knew it shouldn’t be taking THAT long to get to the Duomo, so I finally just got off the tram and walked around to the other side to catch the return route. Sure enough, I’d gone way past and out into the opposite side of Milan.

Discouraged and disgusted with myself and my apparent lack of navigational ability, all I wanted at that point was to get back to the room and into a hot bath. I did catch a very brief glimpse of the Duomo on the return trip, but it was seriously a blink-and-you’ll-miss-it glimpse as we raced around a corner. All in all, the wasted trip ate up about two hours of time and I reentered the hotel wet, cranky and roundly defeated.

This morning, we enjoyed another nice continental breakfast at the hotel, then hubby suggested we all go into the city together where we could walk around a little before he met his work colleague and continued on his way for the day. We figured out that there are two kinds of trams running – older models that require three steep steps to enter and exit, often blocked by divider bars (no hope for us with the stroller), and the newer modern versions that are flush with the stop, allowing much easier access for us to wheel on and off. The only thing is, you never know which tram is coming when. Although the trams run frequently (every seven minutes or so during the week, every 15 on weekends), we quickly learned the hard way that our wait times were going to be inconsistent. We watched two or three of the older trams roll by before one finally arrived that we could board with the stroller.

We finally got into the city in one piece, after requesting a tram map from the hotel concierge and counting the stops like a hawk. We disembarked at the Piazza del Duomo, and it is a beautiful place. The buildings are ancient with gorgeously decorated facades, and the Duomo itself is enormous and elaborate. We took a few requisite photos and a spin through the gorgeous shopping center to the left of the square. Sadly, it was getting onto the toddler’s lunch time, the rain cut our walk-around short, and hubby had to get to work. We returned to the tram stop for the return trip, and ended up waiting about 30 minutes for one we could get on. I did have a lovely chat on the ride back with a family visiting from Ireland for a weekend holiday, and turns out they are staying in the same hotel that we are.

It’s a small world after all.

Table for one

I don’t know why so many people, especially women, have such a hangup about dining alone. In this day and age of empowered women, there should be no stigma about a single lady enjoying a nice dinner or lunch by herself. So why does one still exist??

Last month, I enjoyed a few days on my own in Chicago. My husband had been away for work most of November and felt he owed me a little “me time,” an offer I gladly took him up on. I spent two days downtown, sightseeing, reading, just walking around, sleeping in and enjoying some great food. While some of my female friends expressed jealousy at my short-term escape, a few others said “Oh, sounds like fun, but I could never do that.”

My question is – why the heck not?? I suppose being single and living alone for nearly a decade before I got married at age 35 conditioned me to be comfortable in my own company. Nearly all of my friends married and had kids long before I did, so I grew accustomed to them not being able to drop everything on a whim to come meet me for a spontaneous (or even planned) drink, meal or movie. Therefore, I got to the point where if I wanted to do something and no one was available to join me, it became a matter of either going alone or sitting home seething because I was missing out on something I’d really wanted to do. I became quite adept at solo dining, even taking in the occasional concert or trip as well, and I grew to relish and enjoy it.

So, in Chicago, I decided to treat myself to a really posh meal on my last night there. I had originally planned on a juicy steak, but changed gears at the last minute and opted for Italian. I asked the concierge at my hotel for a recommendation – somewhere I wouldn’t feel like a sore thumb without a companion, but somewhere I could partake in a great meal and a glass of wine. I took his suggestion and caught a cab to a place called La Madia.

La Madia was a little trendier than I usually go in for, but classy and the staff made me feel welcome, not like a social outcast. I was seated at a two-top near the window with a view of the gas fireplace and bustling bar scene. True to the concierge’s word, I didn’t see any couples on dates, just happy hour groups and a few Sex-and-the-City-style duos and trios of single women out for drinks, apps and gossip.

The server made it his mission to keep an eye on me and keep me happy, making recommendations and checking on me just frequently enough to see how I was doing (more often than his other busier tables, I might add). The wine he suggested was fabulous, and the gnocchi with sausage and spinach in a brown butter sauce divine. The dessert was the high point of the meal, though – some kind of outrageously rich chocolate cake that was sweet but not too sweet, dusted with powdered sugar and topped with crushed pistachios. All in all, a lovely dining experience. I happily paid my bill, tipped big and left feeling on top of the world.

Here’s the thing about dining out alone – it forces you to slow down, take a deep breath, and just be in the moment. No one’s asking you to cut up their meat or converse about how you spent your day. It’s uninterrupted, quality you time, and really, couldn’t we all use a little more of that?!? If you can resist the urge to crack open a book or magazine, it makes for excellent people watching and eavesdropping opportunities as well.

My tips to pull off a successful solo restaurant visit: Firstly, dress well. There’s a aura of mystery surrounding women who dine alone and like it. Let people wonder what your story is… are you a foreign expatriate in town on business? Perhaps a food critic? An up-and-coming television star eager for a few incognito minutes away from your entourage? Just don’t wear sunglasses indoors. Unless you’re in Los Angeles, which is the only place you might possibly be able to get away with it.

Adjust your attitude. It’s all about confidence. If you look and act like a pathetic loser who has to eat alone because you have no friends and no life, that’s what people will think you are! Suck it up and embrace a short respite of solitude, for God’s sake! Are you telling me your husband and kids can’t live without you for an hour or two, and vice versa??? Come on! Get over yourself!

Work the situation to your advantage. Sometimes it may even buy you some special treatment… you don’t have to be overly friendly, just smile and act coy. I ate dinner alone at the hotel bar my first night in Chicago, and the bartenders swung me an extra-full glass of wine and plied me with free snacks the whole time I was sitting there.

So I issue a challenge to bold women everywhere – demand a free night from your significant other, throw on a dress and some lipstick and take yourself out on a dinner date sometime soon. Scared? So what! It’s good to do things that scare you sometimes, just to prove you can. Pick somewhere nice, don’t just slum it at a fast-food place, wolfing down fries as fast as you can to get the experience over with. Slow down, unwind and sit with yourself for an hour or two over a delicious meal and a drink. And don’t skip dessert. Do it! Tell ’em I sent you…

La Madia:   http://www.dinelamadia.com/